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The Onion

America's Finest News Source.

Joined on 4 March, 2008

  • 41k Tweets
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‘This Here Is Probably Our Bestselling Love Seat,’ Says Man Who Would Have Been Powerful, Revered Warrior 4,000 Years Ago

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5 Things To Know About ‘Allen V. Farrow’

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First U.S. City To Start Funding Reparations To Black Americans #WhatDoYouThink?

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Cancer Diagnosed With Skip Bayless

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Kings Of Leon To Release New Album As NFT After Vinyl Physically Rejects Attempted Pressing

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Elon Musk Unveils New XL Flamethrower

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TikTok Assures Users Worried About Myanmar That They’re Aggressively Monetizing The Situation

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Heroic Conservative Risks Own Life To Hide Mr. Potato Heads In Attic

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Congress Cancels Thursday Session After Authorities Warn Of Looming Plot To Pass Stimulus Bill

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Bugs Bunny Explains How LeBron Helped Him Get Sober For Role In ‘Space Jam’ Sequel

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Researchers Warn Of New Giant Covid-19 Variant Large Enough To Swallow Grown Man Whole

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Bronze Age Man Would Have Worn Nicer Pelts If He’d Known Scientists Would Find His Preserved Body In Bog

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This mug is guaranteed to get a slight nod of acknowledgement from some of your coworkers.

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Covid Announces Plan To Move Operations To Texas Full-Time To Escape Burdensome Regulations

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Average American Life Expectancy Falls One Year After 97,000-Square-Mile Anvil Drops On Wyoming

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Dr. Seuss Publisher Pulls Books With Racist Imagery #WhatDoYouThink?

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"Don't worry, folks, everything is probably going to be all right. If I had to guess, and I most certainly do, I would say that I have this situation totally under control."

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5 Things To Know About Prince Harry And Meghan Markle’s Split From The Royal Family

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Report: We Don’t Make Any Money If You Don’t Click The Fucking Link

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